The Limits to Affirmation
How much affirmation is enough? At some point, whatever others say, we have to be able to say, from the inside out, that we matter, that we have worth, that we're good enough. We may need the affirmation of others as a kick start (which is why early childhood affirmation is so important). But it's got to go inside, so it can come from there.
I am waiting to hear if I have been accepted into a writers' mentorship program. In the application I said that it may be too much to expect that I would go from good to great. But from good to publishable, that would be worth the price of admission.
The first draft of my memoir is done, and I've already gone back to the beginning to take a second pass, editing, reorganizing, re-writing. I'm waiting to hear if I will have someone to walk with me, a published author with the chops to assist me in this next phase. I hope I do. Every writer needs an editor. And I want this thing to be the best it can be.
So, what happens if they're oversubscribed, or underwhelmed, by the submissions they receive? What happens if my application is rejected? Do I continue to write? Do I give up? I've had to think about this.
But in truth, I already know the answer. I would do this even if I don't receive the benefit of a mentor, even if I'm never published by a reputable publisher, and even if the end result is only a pale reflection of the potential I can see in my writerly mind.
I love writing. I'm good at it, or good enough, anyway. And I don't intend to stop any time soon. That's all the affirmation I really need.